Winner stays on: Sheffield United vs the World

Phil Rose with a public service announcement on the possible changing of the guard in World Football's Winner Stays On competition.

Winner Stays On…

If you're not already with the Winner Stays On Unofficial Football Club Championship programme, quite frankly, where are you going with your life?

Phil Rose

Competitive football as we'd recognise it began in 1871. The first season of the FA Cup. The FA Cup, as I'm sure you're aware, is Winner Stays On. The team that beats the team, that beats the team, that beats the team, wins the FA Cup. Proper Football.

What's that you say? What if they'd just carried on Phil? What if we declared the first-ever FA Cup Winners as Champions of the World? They're the Winners. They Stay On. Yeah. Until someone beats ‘em.

What if Wanderers, who beat the Royal Engineers one nil, at The Kennington Oval, in March 1872, in the first FA Cup Final. What if they were the first-ever Winner Stays On Unofficial Football Club Champions. And we forgot about FA Cups and Leagues, and European Cups, and The Champions League, and all that shit.

What if we remained true to football's origins? Who'd be the Winners who would be staying on? Crikey. How many games would there be? Between that first season of the FA Cup. And last weekend, when the Blades saw off Plymouth Argyle?

Funny you should ask. That'd be five thousand, three hundred and forty-seven games where the Winner had Stayed On as Unofficial Football Club Champions.

Let's go through it. Things ticked along nicely at first. After all, there was just the FA Cup going on. Sheffield FC had a shot at the title in Game #36, February 1878, but lost three-nil to Winner Staying On Wanderers.

There was a bit of bollocks in Game #77, March 1884. When a team from Glasgow, Queen's Park, beat Winner Staying On, Blackburn Olympic, four one in the “English” FA Cup Semi-Final. To become World Champions. The Glaswegians got beat in their very next competitive match. Which was a whole year later!!!

The Wednesday had their first crack in Game #107, January 1888. Preston North End dicked ‘em three one. Good lads. Not long after that, the World changed in game #110, September 1888. FA Cup holders West Bromwich Albion kicked off the new-fangled Football League against Stoke City. won two nil. And now we had a whole heap of weekly fixtures where Winner Stays On could change hands. And we didn't have to wait for infrequent Cup Ties, with only John Street and The South Stand open, for the Championship to pass on.

In Game #290, March 1894, Blackburn Rovers had recently beat Derby County. And brought the prestigious, but unheard of then, indeed unheard of now, Winner Stays On Unofficial Football Club Championship to Bramall Lane, Sheffield. For a Football League, Division One clash against Sheffield United. Three Two to The Blades.

For those at the back. Sheffield United Are Champions Of The World (Winner Stays On method).

Are you with me yet? Games coming thick and fast. Week in. Week out. Wilder would be moaning like a good ‘un. The Winner Stays On bouncing all over the shop. Even into some of the newer leagues - The Western League, The Southern League.

Phil? Isn't there a flaw in all this though? Some nonentity team, from a place and a league we've never heard of. They might have a day in the Sun, beat one of the big boys, with the winner going in off someone's arse. Take the Title down to their Pub League. And it might never be seen again on Match Of The Day.

Mate. Yes. Yes. YES. And why are you describing that as “a flaw”? That is exactly what our forebears wanted. Winner. Stays. On. That's the beauty of it.

But. I'll admit. The PR Department at Winner Stays On HQ were getting a bit jumpy. Endless fixtures. Yawn. Year after year. “Ooohhh Sheffield United are Unofficial Football Club Champions (again) whoopy doo.” There were hundreds of ideas as to how to breathe new life into the format. But. You know. What was the purity, the essence, the simplicity —Winner Stays On — also became the around-neck millstone.

Until Game #2541, September 1956…

Phil? Can we just check here. Just above, you were talking about Game #290, in March 1894. Now you've fast-forwarded well over two thousand games. And over sixty years. What was happening during that time?

Mate. The Winner was literally Staying On.

Anyway. Game #2541. Anderlecht have entered the game. Belgium have entered the game. the European Cup has entered the game. Anderlecht 0 v Manchester United 2. Phew. Cry God for Harry, England and St George. The Winner is English. And they shalt Stay On.

But. Governments crack and systems fall, Lights go out, walls come tumbling down.

It takes until Game #2656, November 1958, I was eighteen days old. Schalke 04 2 v Wolverhampton Wanderers 1, European Cup 1st Round Second Leg. The Winners are German. It hadn't even gone to Penalties. And. They are Staying On. Bugger.

For decades, it was thought, that was that. As the Winner Stays On Gods decreed. The Unofficial Football Club Championship had left these shores. Forever.

Sheffield United could be content. They would be the eighth most successful Winner Staying On. The eighth-best team in the world. Don't @ me.

But, in early April 2024 Rumours. Briefings. Leaks began circulating. Some Carrier Bag Firm anorak had been asleep at the wheel. Too busy filing match programmes no doubt. A game had been missed off the historic timeline. A Winner had Won and had Not Stayed On.

Look. I'll level with you. No one was keeping the list up to date in 1874. The idea for the Winner Stays On Unofficial Football Club Championship is a recent idea. It's sort of - Who Do You Think You Are?

The ConeHeads had to work backwards. Seeing who would have won. And who would have stayed on. And. Mistakes were made. And then rectified. In April 2024, someone must have found an old teamsheet. And a Ghost Game was found.

Real Zaragoza 2

Real Madrid 0

Copa del Rey

12 March 1986

Up until that discovery, The Championship had gone forward with Madrid. But it should have gone forward with Zaragoza. So, midnight oil was burnt. And over a few crucial weeks, the timeline was reworked.

The new timeline revealed that the Winner Stays On Unofficial Football Club Championship had, indeed, come back to England for a while. And. It. Gets. Better.

There's a Roll Call.

Were you at any of the following games?

6 November 1993 Sheffield United v Norwich City at Bramall Lane (lost 2-1).

18 December 1993 Wimbledon v Sheffield United at Selhurst Park (lost 2-0).

4 April 1994 Sheffield United v Arsenal at Bramall Lane (drew 1-1).

Because, if you were, you have seen The Blades as (unsuccessful) Challengers for the Winner Stays On Unofficial Football Club Championship. And you didn't even know it.

I've written about the Winner Stays On Unofficial Football Club Championship for The Pinch before. You may be wondering - why the rehash Phil? Why the reworking?

Because, I am pleading with all readers. Get your illegal streams sorted out. Get the alerts set on your fave App. Look to the skies. Get some popcorn.

Saturday 14 December 2024

La Liga

Rayo Vallecano 3

Real Madrid 3

Real Madrid retained the Winner Stays On Unofficial Football Club Championship.

Saturday 14 December 2024

FIFA Intercontinental Cup Challenger Cup

CF Pachuca (Mexico) beat Al Ahly (Egypt) 6-5 on Penalties.

Meaning…

Wednesday 18 December 2024

FIFA Intercontinental Cup Final

Lusail Stadium, Doha

Real Madrid (holders) v CF Pachuca (challengers)

CF Pachuca are a Mexican club founded in 1892. Indeed, founded by workers of a Mexican mining company who were mostly British miner immigrants from Camborne and Redruth in Cornwall. A Mexican team, a team from outside Europe, will challenge for the Winner Stays On Unofficial Football Club Championship for the very first time.

After decades of English dominance. After decades of European dominance. After the Ghost Game in 1986. After the Blades having a crack at becoming World Champions in 1993/94. The Winner Stays On Unofficial Football Club Championship could be on it's way to Mexico. And a whole heap of new loveliness and football geekery. It may never return to Europe, England and Bramall Lane. Because, well because, Winner Stays On. Up The Tuzos.

Winner Stays On. Get with the programme.

Congratulations, You Have Just Been Informed By The Carrier Bag Firm. I don't tell stories, I FIND stories.