The Sheffield United Calendar 2024

What better way to start 2024 than to spend far too long thinking about the official SUFC Calendar for this year?

Ben Meakin

What better way to start 2024 than to spend far too long thinking about the official Sheffield United Football Club Calendar for this year?

The calendar is the one bit of Sheffield United gear/tat that I can reliably guarantee will be waiting for me to unwrap on Christmas morning. My nan first bought me one over a decade ago, and over the years it became a bit of a knowing, tongue-in-cheek gift where she was fully aware that it was a bit crap but that I still wanted it anyway and was always happy to get one. When we told her with amusement that United had managed to spell their own name wrong on the 2018 edition, she went out of her way to make sure that I received one of those very same misspelt versions, much to my delight.

I know it brought her a lot of enjoyment being able to bring my wife into the fold of this daft little Christmas “tradition” by making sure she had a Reading FC one to unwrap for herself (even though last year the Royals, shockingly, did not produce an official calendar). My nan passed away in 2021, but the calendar-giving baton has passed to my aunt – from whom I gratefully received the 2024 edition, resplendent as always in red, white and black.

One thing I’m always fascinated by (I live quite a mundane existence) is not only the players who will be included – the Sacred Twelve – but in what order they’re positioned throughout the year. Having worked in printed football products myself in the past – I was once involved in a minor media brouhaha over the omission of soon-to-be-sacked manager Martin Jol from the Tottenham Hotspur Monopoly board – I know first-hand that this can be a minefield. Players and managers come and go, often sooner than anyone can anticipate. 

Pity, then, the poor soul tasked with trying to put together United’s 2024 calendar – presumably many months in advance of the end of 2023 – in the knowledge that approximately 18 of United’s current first-team squad are out of contract by the time 50% of the pages have been turned. 

Even the cover is a minefield – splashy signing Gus Hamer’s presence makes perfect sense, but there’s a fair chance that the other four – Wes Foderingham, Cameron Archer, Oli McBurnie and George Baldock are all long gone by the time I’m turning to September.

I’ve long-theorised (again, existence: mundane) about the thought process that must go into this. Front-loading the players most likely to leave into the early months of the year seems like a logical move. Hold onto the club stalwarts for the back end of the year when you don’t even know what league you’re going to be in, never mind who’s still here or how popular/unpopular they are.

At the same time, you want the year to start strong with a recognisable face or two. With the greatest of respect to Ben Osborn or Max Lowe, for example, neither of them screams “Mr January”.

2023 was a textbook example, with Oli Norwood and Chris Basham given the burdensome months of October and November before a slightly curious (but defensible) pick of Rhys Norrington-Davies to close out the year. At the other end, popular new boy Anel Ahmedhodzic got the January slot but the player-picking pitfalls were all too evident in February with Reda Khadra’s presence – Khadra had already been playing for Birmingham City for three weeks by the time February rolled around.

All those out-of-contract players made 2024 into a trap year for calendar creators. There’s no Billy Sharp to reliably pencil in as an unquestionable choice for one of the Sacred Twelve. Basham’s horrendous injury looks likely to usher in the end of his Blades career. Very few of the summer signings have produced highlight moments up to now, never mind by the point of presumable publication.

2024 starts with a pair of tap-ins – loveable rogue McBurnie and gorgeous George Baldock getting the ball rolling. Wes Foderingham looked a fairly safe pick for March, although might now have played his last Blades game if transfer rumours are anything to go by. Cameron Archer, Gus Hamer, John Egan – tick, tick and tick for April, May and June.

From there, difficulties arise. Vinicius Souza (July) and Jayden Bogle (August) may still be here by then, and Rhian Brewster (September) certainly will, although he’ll have to have a heck of a 2024 for any calendar-owners to not feel obliged to groan when his face pops up three-quarters of the way through the year.

October’s man, Benie Traore, is already out of the door after a mere 400 minutes of action in red and white, although in theory he could still be our player by that point. Ditto Anis Slimane (November), although I wouldn’t bet on it. Auston Trusty gets the December slot – a good choice as the summer signing most likely to still be in our XI by then, IMHO.

Much like United’s season so far, the actual design of the calendar isn’t much to write home about, being a near-enough copy-paste job from last year. Player pic, player autograph, between 29 and 31 days per page, wallop. 

(I always think there’s more that could be done here, like featuring an image from a memorable match or moment in Blades history that took place on that month, or even from the season before, but I guess – given the Reading FC example – I should be grateful that for a cash-strapped club, we get a calendar at all)

The Blades’ 2022 calendar did at least feature a full-page pic of each player that added a bit of pop to the design, even if this accusatory photo of John Fleck haunted my dreams for weeks:

2024’s calendar holds no such Scottish serial-killer-style horrors. Instead, I give you my tier list of the twelve pages:

Garbage

• 12) Wes Foderingham (March)

• 11) John Egan (June)

• 10) Auston Trusty (December)

Just very dull poses, although Egan just creeps off the bottom spot by virtue of a smile and including his shirt number as part of his signature (always a useful identifier among the scribble). Wes, on the other hand, has the nervous demeanour of a man who knows he’s about to face more shots on target than any other keeper in the Premier League this season, possibly ever. Trusty just creeps above the bottom two by virtue of being a new face, although obviously he’ll be old hat by the time we actually reach December.

McBurnie

• 9) Oli McBurnie (January)

Another dull arms-folded pose, really, although there’s just something about this guy’s face that I can’t help but have a small smile about, hence a tier all of his own.

At least you tried

• 8) Benie Traore (October)

• 7) Vinicius Souza (July)

Benie Traore achieves the near-impossible by actually making himself look smaller than he is for his page, turning away from the camera but in doing so he does give us a lovely view of the Premier League logo on his sleeve. Sadly, by October, United (and Traore) are 99.9% likely to be anything but.

Souza elevates the standard folded-arms pose by at least lifting his head a little and looking off into the middle distance like an experienced model. I appreciate the effort.

Something different

• 6) Rhian Brewster (September)

• 5) Gus Hamer (May)

• 4) George Baldock (February)

• 3) Jayden Bogle (August)

• 2) Anis Slimane (November)

Into the top half, and five players who are all trying something a little bit different. Brewster’s chin-scratch encapsulates how most of us feel about his time at the Lane so far, while Gus Hamer’s shirt-tug adds a welcome bit of life among the more static poses.

Baldock’s half-turn spices things up a bit by showing us the back of the shirt with the Premier League lettering and numbering, although it also makes it look like he’s walking out of the door (possibly to AEK Athens). I like the effort that Bogle is going to with his stirring-the-pot celebration thingy although I’ve docked him a place by virtue of him doing the exact same pose on last year’s calendar.

Anis Slimane – I’ve no idea what’s going on here, to be perfectly honest. But, it certainly is different from the rest. Kudos. 

A cut above

• 1) Cameron Archer (April)

The top slot goes to Cameron Archer, who looks every inch the Premier League striker with this pose. Easy posture, raised chin, hands rubbed together in contemplation of scoring a 25-yarder off the underside of the bar in his side’s first win of the season. No need for gimmicks when you’re the marquee, goalscoring signing of the summer. A cut above, well played. 

There you have it. Let’s hope that by October, Benie Traore is firing us to a promotion charge from the Championship in a dynamite strike partnership with Rhian Brewster, with goals from Anis Slimane and sterling captaincy from Auston Trusty. That’s the beauty of a new year: you never know what it might bring.