The Night Shift

How better to spend the early hours caring for a newborn than reliving Sheffield United's nineties journey through the magic of VHS?

Ewen Laycock

In the early 2000s, I helped myself – regularly – to my older brother’s VHS collection. And it’s not what you think.

I was obsessed by his collection of Sheffield United season review videos. Whether it was Marcelo celebrating by chucking his long-sleeved shirt into the crowd and revealing… another shirt underneath. Glyn Hodges’ confiding that he asked the ref to blow the whistle early in May ’94 and that he’d buy him a pint. David Holdsworth starting his United career with two own goals in two games.

I loved them. I still do.

Skipping ahead twenty-odd years, you now find me in my living room, at 3am. I have my own new Junior Blade, mercifully snoozing on my chest. She’s two months old and utterly oblivious to those in red and white – for now.

Poor girl: she doesn’t know what’s coming in her life as a Blade, but this is probably as good a grounding as any.

Winds of Change

Which brings me to tonight’s offering. Thanks to some selfless soul, lots of the VHS tapes I pinched growing up are now on YouTube. As JB shifts in her sleep, the swooshing titles and opening montage begin. Get comfy now, it’s time for the 1995/96 season: also known as the Winds of Change.

You might ask why, and I wouldn’t really have a good answer. This was not a stellar season.

United lost 13 of their first 18 league games – matching 2023/24’s dismal start – were dumped out of the League Cup by Division Three’s Bury, and scored fewer home goals than rock-bottom Luton. Still, we beat Arsenal in the FA Cup and we had those kits. That beautiful red and white diamond motif and the yellow and purple split-screen – because why not, this is the ’90s.

The neatest trick these videos played is hiding quite how bad the seasons are. As a child, I was always surprised when they showed the league table during the videos. ‘But we’ve won half our games!’ United might lose the first five in 1995/96, but as the highlights skip along, you would be forgiven for thinking that Dave Bassett and Co. were right on the cusp of something.

As ever, all seems possible to begin with. In the bright July sunshine, new signing Paul Holland blinks dazedly at the photographer as his manager smiles at the gaping hole where the John Street stand will soon be. Cue the ominous narrator: “neither player nor manager would survive the season”. This is a story worth following.

“We were like Brazil”

Following the awful start, the strongest gust in the Winds of Change comes in mid-December, as Bassett and United “agree to part company on amicable terms” and Howard Kendall is brought in. It’s another highlight of the review and one that underlines the innocent era being shown on film.

One distraught fan is predicting the end of days (“there’s only one way this club is going now and that’s down”) and could probably have been more empathetically filmed. Another seems to have been interrupted on his way to pick up the morning paper and blithely offers a more balanced opinion: “not surprised.”

It’s an odd way for a club product to treat the moment, actually playing out closer to a local news report than a club statement. This continues as an uncredited player is interviewed wandering in to start his day, a board member is caught on the way out of a meeting, and Bassett himself is happy to chat. Could you imagine the glossily-produced and media-trained interviews that would accompany the same situation today? That's if the contractual red tape would allow such a thing. But that’s why I love these videos. They’re a little time capsule you can revisit.

So, meet the new boss, not like the old boss. It’s safe to say that Kendall’s approach raises a few eyebrows – notably Alan Kelly’s bushy ones.

“I think we played something like 22 passes once in our own half and never actually got out of it,” he says. “It was quite a culture shock. We were like Brazil, but in our own half.”

The culture change slowly begins to reap rewards, although it would be February (February!) before United win in the league again. Five draws in a row, including a 1-1 at Highbury, precede the on-pitch highlight of the season.

1-0 vs Arsenal in the FA Cup. Seaman in his moustache pomp, Adams, Merson, Wright and Bergkamp. Helder, too: no, me neither, but he’s got pace, apparently. And Kendall's boys schooled them… I think. Like I say, it's hard to tell with these highlight packages and I was three years old at the time. Either way, Carl Veart’s bullet header following a breathtaking build-up is worth the 2am wakeup call from JB.

Maybe next year

The fourth round of the FA Cup is a home tie against Aston Villa, and this is a treat indeed. Cue the ’90s cheese, because we’re invited behind the scenes to see the ‘frantic’ preparations on matchday. Do you want to see a sequence of Kendall spooning potatoes onto a plate? The cameraman is way ahead of you. What I wouldn’t give for a little more modern behind-the-scenes content that wasn’t 70 per cent players bumping fists and saying “alright, bro.” The ’90s footballers’ discomfort with the spotlight is highlighted in an excruciating autograph signing scene, before some light celeb-spotting as we grab movie star Sean Bean for his thoughts.

After all the build-up, the game itself is a bit of a damp squib, as Villa win a penalty – I’m still sure it’s a dive – and hold on to their one-goal lead.

As the season draws to a close, United actually build up a head of steam. They win seven of the last nine and there are a few good signs. Champions-elect Sunderland are held to a draw. New signing Andy Walker looks promising. That’s about it. Even in these videos, there’s the usual end-of-season sense of ‘maybe next year.’ We just need a quality winger, a dominant centre half, that 20-goal-a-season striker…

A snort from JB pulls me out of my mid-90s revelry. She might actually sleep on her own if I put her to bed now, but the Luton Town game is coming up and it includes another personal favourite moment in Don Hutchinson’s goal from an indirect free kick. The keeper is even in joggers. It’s perfect. So just ten more minutes.

The early hours

Inky night has been replaced by dull dawn by the time the final game of the season comes around. The incredible upturn in form isn’t enough for the playoffs, not by a long way. Why do I like this season again? On a bare pitch, Port Vale take the lead before Walker again bundles in from a corner. 1-1.

I should probably feel guilty for possibly passing on this part of my life to my little girl, but it’s probably too far gone already. In the last few nights, she’s dozed and dreamed from 1991 to 1996, not even waking up for the memorable paintball montage of 1992/1993.

JB is still asleep now, but she’s due a feed and making those smacking sounds that suggest an imminent cry. 1996/97 is next on the playlist: in fact, it’s already loading up, that familiar opening montage and soundtrack once again.

“Hopkin’s looking to curl one…”

No, neither of us have the stomach for that right now. So not tonight he won’t.