Sheffield United v Owners

Phil Rose on the necessary evil of owners in football.

Phil Rose

Simple question. What do you love? Your mum, your partner, your kids, your dog, 5.8% IPAs, chips?

You wouldn't want any of those to be owned by someone else, would you? Follow up question. Do you love Sheffield United?

The obvious conclusion - you wouldn't want your Football Club to be owned by someone else, would you? As with your chips, so with your Football Club.

OK. OK. I know. We've lost English football. The model is broken. And we'll never be able to reassemble it. Fans clamour for Owners who “have the finances to take us to the next level”. Received wisdom is that successful football clubs cannot be run on the revenue they generate. They can only be successful with huge injections of cash from somewhere else. From the Owner's pocket, that's where. Received wisdom says that. Oh, and League Tables say that, of course.

We all sneer at clubs who have bought the League. But we're desperate for someone to buy it for us. We all pontificate about the Premier League becoming a closed shop. But, hell or high water, we want someone to buy us into it before they pull up the drawbridge.

WAHAW. We're all hypocrites aren't we?

I've written before for the Dem Blades/The Pinch imprint about the ownership of Sheffield United by Prince Abdullah bin Mosaad Al Saud. I won't rehash all that here. But, I didn't/don't want Saudi money anywhere near my football club. Built, as that money is, on appalling human rights violations. He's a Saudi Prince. He's been in the Saudi Government. He's not a self-made businessman. In case you didn't know, Saudi Princes get a Big Leg Up when running a business.

“Ooooohhhh. Even Royal Arses don't wipe themselves. Which Company should get the franchise for toilet rolls in all the Palaces? Abdullah is a good lad. One of us. I went to Despot College with his Dad. His Grandad did that thing for us that time, that we agreed never to talk about. Let's try him.”

And now. Someone (or possibly something) else owns Sheffield United. Owns the thing we love. Sad day. Of course, I'll hear the argument - it's reality, a necessary evil, we need Owners. I'll even hear the argument that The Prince has been a Good Owner.

I have an underdeveloped theory along the lines of: The Prince is the best owner Sheffield United have never had. Under his Ownership, we've had;

• Promotions

• Spells in the Premier League

• The bits of Bramall Lane Real Estate all brought back together again

• A new First Team Training Site identified

• Shirecliffe Academy Graduates getting regular game time in the first team

But, let's take that last one about Academy players. Something I'm very keen on. Something I'm very proud of. If I'm honest though, that feels like something that has happened by necessity, rather than by design.

Because the Owner, The Prince, couldn't find the funds. Because we couldn't renew contracts. Because we couldn't afford wage demands. Because we couldn't sign replacements. The first team squad has been left light at times. And those gaps have often been plugged by Academy players.

Long spells in the team for Andre Brooks. Sydie Peck becoming a first-team squad regular. Breakout starts and impact substitutions for Femi Seriki. Starts and an important goal from Ryan Oné. Cameo Cup goal from Louie Marsh. Sachdev, Blacker and Hampson on the Bench and/or League Cup starts.

That's one of the things I want. That's one of my ambitions for the club. To be regularly challenging and successful at our level, within our lane if you will, and using homegrown talent to boot. But. Whisper it—even Arblaster—would any of those be anywhere near the first team if The Prince had been able to provide the money to buy strength in depth this summer or summer 2023?

The Prince couldn't do that. He couldn't do that Owner thing for us. He owned us, but he couldn't do ownership things. The Prince is the best owner Sheffield United have never had - underdeveloped theory, needs work.

And, fair play, The Fall wrote a song about him - Big New Prinz.

“Check the record

Check the guy's track record”

“He. Is. Not, Appreciated.”

Although, I'm afraid “The Ballad of Ismaila Coulibaly”, which could easily have been a Fall lyric, was never written.

And now Sheffield United have new owners. And it's a necessity. And they made their money in that thing you wouldn't be able to explain to the bloke who sits next to you on the Shoreham.

“Don't you Rate ‘em, Phil?”

“The only Rating we should do with Owners is Tolerating.”

And they will draw up a five-year plan to be in the Champions League. And the Carrier Bag Firm will Bring The Bile.

“Thank you for your kind invitation to The National League in my lifetime. I've still got a few grounds to tick in there.”

And the thing you love is owned by someone else.

I have my own long-running Blog about Football and Beer. And it is very sweary. In general, I don't think my sweary writing is appropriate for The Pinch, and for wider circulation. So, I made a pact not to be sweary in articles such as this.

And then The Sheffield Star put out one of those click-gathering Tweets. So apologies. I've got no alternative.

“Blades fans, it's finally happened and the club is under new ownership - sum up how you feel in 3 words after hearing the news.”

Fuck ALL Owners.

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