Andrew “Roy/Panchero/Weirdo/Roydrew” Hague takes another look at what Blades-related antics have been happening on social media for the month of August.
In my last View…on social media, I talked about how Pre-Season is the best time to be a football fan. The hopes, the dreams, the expectations of what the season might bring. Looking forward to that first game with so much positive anticipation. It could be the start of an incredible nine months that, one day, you remember as a glorious era in your football club’s history.
WATFORD
Unfortunately, our football club is Sheffield United, and we NEVER start well.
The 1-0 away defeat at Watford in our opening game surprised nobody. In a single ninety-minute spell, the players we had hung our hopes on to make this a great season reappeared, only to remind us of past failures.
Jimmy wasn't the major problem though. United started the campaign with no fewer than twelve players out injured, and many began questioning what was going on in training.
One game. One loss. The three-month wait to see the red and white wizards back in action was a huge, predictable letdown. And Jonno from The Shoreham View spoke for the 2,000 or so Blades that travelled to Vicarage Road when he said he “couldn't wait to get back on the coach.”
MILLWALL
It was back to Bramall Lane for the second game against Millwall and thankfully things were much better.
The Blades went 1-0 up after great play from new signing……. Jed Wallace?!
……….at least that’s what the BBC thought anyway.
The second goal in our 2-0 win was set up after great play by John Fleck. And the people who had criticised him in the opening game were quickly changing their stance….
After Sander Berge made it 2-0, it all became too much for the Lions fans, as evidenced by this act of extreme violence against a seat:
Still, a battered seat and penalty missed by Oli Norwood didn’t spoil the mood for Blades fans. We could celebrate our first three points of the season (and no Jake Cooper goal!).
WEST BROM
Did anybody really care about the EFL cup game against West Brom?
Nope. Nobody did. To the point where nobody was actually allowed to view the game outside of the hardy souls who travelled to The Hawthorns to watch a much-changed eleven bow out of the cup at the first attempt. The Blades succumbed to a 1-0 defeat, but the scoreline could have and should have been higher given Paul Heckingbottom’s bizarre goalkeeping selection.
Another string to the young striker’s bow.
KITS
After months of waiting for one kit, United suddenly released two in a week (insert bus joke here). Fan reaction was mostly positive for both releases, but the Red Half Of Sheffield podcasters took it upon themselves to design a shirt we could have all gotten behind.
I’m quite hungry now to be honest.
‘BORO
A 2-2 draw at ‘Boro was preceded by United centre-back Jack O’Connell making an appearance as pundit on SUTV.
The welcome sight of a bona fide Blades legend, who had tragically missed the last two years through injury, was slightly offset by the fact he was wearing a jumper indoors. In 30-degree heat.
Deadbat, from the Tufty Club podcast, certainly didn’t need a jumper as he missed the game whilst sunning it up in Italy. Luckily, Co-host Webster (there is another host but he never turns up) was on hand to keep his fellow podcaster informed with what was going on during the ‘Boro game.
The Blades went 1-0 up following a superb goal from Sander Berge. Webster texted Deadbat saying “Great start”.
Unfortunately, years of sarcasm from Webster, and years of being a United fan from Deadbat, led to the latter telling his son “we’re losing” thus leading to an unnecessary and preventable moment of misery on the Deadbat family holiday.
Talking of holidays, our ex-striker Lys Mousset found himself a new resort to rest his big ass by signing for VfL Bochum. One Blade soon sussed why he decided to move to that particular part of Germany.
SUNDERLAND
The Blades continued their now-impressive start to the season with a 2-1 home win against newly promoted Sunderland. The hero of the hour was our new £3m signing Anel “watch your auto-correct” Ahmedhodžić. A goal and an assist for the Bosnian centre-half inspired memories of the performances we have seen from Chris Basham over the last five years, and United fan Lee Simpson had a theory to why the two players shared such similar attributes.
It really does make you wonder…..
BLACKBURN
The Blades then put in the performance of the season so far in a 3-0 win over Blackburn at The Lane. The first goal came courtesy of a brilliant Norwood free kick for which words do no justice. The second, however, was much improved by the precise reportage of the BBC.
Ndiaye’s second - United’s third - was one of the best goals ever seen at Bramall Lane, and former Blades striker Carl Asaba was lucky enough to grab a seat next to the Senegalese sensation after the game.
A second home victory of the campaign. United were fantastic against Blackburn, and the performance was of such quality that it had some fans thinking about how far the club had come in the last ten years.
Hungry again….
LUTON
Kenilworth Road is always a hard place to go and it was no different this season.
The Blades battled out a score draw with The Hatters to grab a point that soon seemed much more impressive when it was revealed that Blades ’keeper Wes Foderingham had “sickness and diarrhoea”.
Yes it seems our number one had shit himself on the pitch in a moment that evoked memories of Italia ’90 when England striker Gary Lineker followed through against the Republic of Ireland and never lived it down. Let’s hope ‘League One Wes’ doesn’t suffer from the same jibes.
Although, there is already a chant about it… Shat on Wes.
So that’s the first month of the season done with. Wasn’t bad was it really?
Top of the table - as of 5th September - and some tough games already out of the way. Let’s hope this time next month I’m writing the same but with a nice cushion between us and second. And less diarrhoea. Oh, and can everyone please stop getting injured?
Andrew Hague is a friend first, podcaster second, probably entertainer third. He runs Roy’s View From and you can find him arguing with opposition fans on Twitter @Panchero.
Dear Andrew/Roy/Panchero/Weirdo/Roydrew (!)
Thanks for a fascinating, sometimes jaw-dropping and mostly hilarious trawl through the daftness that is social media - brilliant selection! Particularly liked the SUFC training ground picture and the Basham on a stag do 23 years ago comment!
Sue.