Roy's view on social media: "...feeling a little low."

Roy ruminates on low mood in the highest rung of the pyramid.

After our first and only point of the season, United were looking forward to four games sandwiched between the international breaks of September and October. It was a tough-looking run of fixtures but the Blades seemed to be improving with every game and we hoped to celebrate our first win of the campaign. 

The first match following the break was a trip to London to face a rejuvenated Tottenham Hotspur. Spurs had yet to be defeated this season and enjoyed the lion’s share of possession and chances until the 73rd minute when Gustavo Hamer put United in front. Unfortunately, the goal came at a price. As the mass euphoria erupted, one fan appeared to jump to his death in a bid to preserve the moment: 

As the clock hit 90 minutes, it looked as though United were heading towards a famous victory. Then…

…the fourth official held up a staggering 14 (fourteen) MINUTES  of injury time!

It was too much for The Blades and Spurs equalised on 98 minutes (98!) before winning the game in the one-hundredth minute (100!) to record the latest winning comeback in Premier League history. It was sickening to take for Blades fans and the distaste continued afterwards when countless Spurs fan queued up to give United a kicking about their approach to the game and supposed time wasting. Luckily there was no physical violence seen outside the ground mainly due to United’s firm leader ensuring the London streets were safe for Blades fans.

It was starting to feel like United weren’t wanted in the Premier League. The pundits were disinterested in us, the armchair fans didn’t want us sullying their entertainment show, and it seemed we were the unwelcome guest at the party. At least we had company:

All 3 promoted sides now occupied the relegation places without a win between them. 

Football was brought into stark perspective following the Spurs defeat when, on the 21st of September, Sheffield United announced the tragic death of women’s team vice captain Maddy Cusack. I was unsure whether to bring this up in what is supposed to be a “comedy” article but I feel it would be amiss not to speak about it. It’s impossible to communicate in words the feeling that her loss brought to the people associated with the club. The sadness of her passing will hang around Bramall Lane for a long time. RIP Maddy.

The Blades were still looking for their first win when they hosted Newcastle United, fresh from their first Champions League qualification in 20 years.

The Sky cameras were there as part of their Super Sunday broadcast and it was believed that United could at least give the Geordies a game following on from narrow defeats against other big hitters, Manchester City and Tottenham Hotspur.

United started well too and could have gone ahead on a couple of occasions before Sean Longstaff put the away side one up against the run of play on 21 minutes with a controversial opener after Anthony Gordon seemed to have assisted the goal using his hand. Ten minutes later it was 2-0 and then Newcastle quickly put the game to bed by adding a third before half time.

As the Blades trudged in at the interval, there seemed little chance of a comeback but nobody could have expected what happened next. Newcastle ripped the hapless home side to shreds in the second half, seemingly scoring whenever they went forward. Even at 7-0 (seven) though, one Blade was finding inspiration in her book: 

Unfortunately, though, the Blades didn’t bounce back. They conceded another, lost 8-0 and entered the record books with their heaviest-ever league defeat. Poor Chad Jarvis of The Red Half Of Sheffield podcast was doing a watch-along of the game for the Sheff United Way youtube channel and seemed to quickly spiral into madness as the game progressed. 

It had been a truly horrendous week for United and their fans knew it wasn’t over yet as they still had to face the Monday morning jibes at work. The huge scoreline meant United’s close defeats in previous games counted for nothing and they were now rock bottom on goal difference.