Roy: the view from Social Media
Roys talks us through January, game-by-game, social media post by social media post.
So where were we…
Words: Andrew Hague
QPR (A)
In the first game of 2023, the Blades took a trip to London to play an out-of-form Queens Park Rangers. Results earlier in the day meant that United would go eleven points clear of third place with a win at Loftus Road. However, a slow start saw us go one down after just ten minutes. The R’s held onto their lead right until the 95th minute when captain John Egan poked home an equaliser that delighted the Blades coaching staff. And, most notably, provoked manager Paul Heckingbottom to channel his inner Homer Simpson:
MILLWALL (A), FA Cup
For the second time in January, United fans made the long trip down to London. This time to the South East of the city, where the weather was truly biblical. The great irony of ‘The Den’ is that the home fans on the first ten rows and completely unprotected from the elements, whilst the away fans are completely covered. With the wind swirling and the rain driving, hordes of Millwall supporters ran from their seats in search of higher ground. Onlooking United fans struck up the chant, “We’re Sheffield, and we’re bone dry,” whilst both the Dockers and even the corner flag were prepared to give the whole thing up as a bad job.
This was United’s first foray into the FA Cup, and the second outing to the capital in a single week began to take its toll on the finances of our supporters:
Despite the weather and pint-price-comparison, United enjoyed a comfortable 2-0 win with goals from Jebbison and Bogle. That put us in the hat for the 4th round, opening up the possibility of a Sheffield derby. Our city rivals had produced one of the shocks of the Third Round by beating Newcastle 2-1…the only reason I bring this up is so I can share this beguiling, art-house masterpiece. And the academy award for Best Adapted Screenplay goes too…
In the end, we avoided Wednesday, but we couldn’t avoid Sunday. Or more precisely, Sunday 29 January: the date when United, after drawing Hollywood FC (aka Wrexham), would face narrative head-on. But before that, it was back to the league campaign…
STOKE (H)
By now, United’s January games were following a familiar pattern: we’d have a good 20-30 minute spell, grab a few goals, and let the opposition back into it, only to hold onto our lead fairly comfortably.
This trend continued as the Blades quickly went two goals up against Stoke with Ndiaye and Bogle on the scoresheet. Then just before halftime, we conceded a soft freak goal and spent the entirety of the second half looking in no serious danger of throwing it all away.
In a shocking ending, we got a third goal. Jayden Bogle grabbed his second of the game in injury time to put Stoke out of their misery. Despite now being eleven points clear of third place, some Blades were still a little concerned with our performances. Although this was nothing compared to the upset of Stoke fans, who were so disconsolate that they ended up attacking themselves.
We both play in red and white, I guess…..
HULL (H)
It was matters off the pitch that made the headlines just before our next game with Hull. The EFL confirmed that the Blades were under a transfer umbongo - sorry, embargo - due to unpaid fees. It seemed that the mysterious takeover now needed to happen more quickly as fans panicked about the finances behind the scenes. All eyes were on the executive boxes in the hope that our unknown potential new owner was there ready to save the day. Shirty Blade on the S2 forum thought he had spotted someone of note:
That wasn’t the only off-the-pitch drama. Hull fans used this game to finally reveal something that had been eating away at them for years. It seemed that in the 80s - amidst the scourge of hooligan violence - some reprobate United fans had pillaged the city of Hull, pilfering the once-sacred treasure of nothing less than their scarves. Despite these crimes being committed well over thirty years ago, it was still raw for the Tiger’s fans. One Blade imagined how the culprit would be feeling reading how his misdemeanours from so long ago still rankled:
Maybe if this reprobate gave the scarves back, the EFL would allow United to exit its embargo? Maybe not. But on the pitch, United continued to steal a march on their rivals with a 1-0 win courtesy of an early Jebbison strike.
For One Hull vlogger, there was only one person was responsible for their loss – referee Darren…erm…Bent.
The win meant The Blades could relax as their rivals attempted to claw back the now fourteen-point deficit. Incredibly almost all the results went in United’s favour. This was no mean feat, given there were fifteen points up for grabs in the Sunderland vs Middlesborough game:
Hull was the final league game in January, but there were still the small matters of the FA Cup and Transfer Deadline Day to come.
WREXHAM (A), FA Cup
In a game where United were rarely mentioned amongst the talk of film stars and documentaries, our Fourth Round tie at The Racecourse Ground was an FA Cup classic. The Blades went one up in the blink of an eye as Oli McBurnie quickly silenced the Welsh fans, including a famous vlogger.
With the Blades ahead, the commentators became more interested in Wrexham’s A-list ownership than they were in representing fact. Former Wales international defender, the five-foot-nine Daniel Gabbidon, said this of the goalscorer:
Credit has to go to Wrexham though, as Hollywood’s favourite non-leaguers fought back to go 2-1 up early in the second half. Oli Norwood equalised to make 2-2, but then Wrexham scored again in the dying embers to make 3-2, and it looked like a cupset really was in the script.
It was the 95th minute when John Egan struck home an equaliser, meaning that the Blades ended the month just how they started it at QPR: with a draw thanks to Egan ending. He might’ve been United’s hero after keeping our name in the hat for a potential home tie against Spurs, but Egan knew his and United’s role:
DEADLINE DAY
With United still under the embargo and seemingly in financial disarray, Deadline Day was always going to be a tense time. Suddenly everyone had inside information. Berge was leaving, Ndiaye was leaving, the takeover was off, the takeover was imminent, the Blades were signing two players…then we weren’t. This window looked set to be the most pivotal one in United’s recent history.
But, in the end, nothing. No signings and no outgoings. United would enter February with the squad intact, twelve points in front of third place (with a game in hand) and the same owner. What happens from here is anybody's guess, but despite lots of drama on and off the pitch, January ended with United even closer to the Premier League than when it started.
This time next year Rodders…
Andrew Hague is a friend first, podcaster second, probably entertainer third. He runs Roy’s View From and you can find him arguing with opposition fans on Twitter @Panchero.
Brilliant as always Andrew..... a great summary with plenty of humour....... we are Stoke.....we are...... honest we are!!!
And at least the Hollywood script was put to bed, for now at least, despite the non penalties scored and not given.
Keep smiling and UTB
Bob D
Thanks Andrew.
"This time next year, Rodders..." *chortle*
The BBC's famous non-biased reporting seemed to have deserted them in North Wales. When Wrexham scored, long lingering shots of their gleeful fans. When the Blades scored, long lingering shots of Ryan Reynolds' reactions. John Egan's response was magnificent!!
Sue.