Like A Greasy Chip Butty - Top 5 near Bramall Lane

The best pre-match snap rated and reviewed by Joel Beighton.

Joel Beighton

It’s ironic that you can’t get a greasy chip butty inside Bramall Lane. I believe that you could get a not-so-greasy chip butty, at one stage, on the John Street stand, but alas no longer. Mildly outraged at this, I decided to take it upon myself to try five places, within walking distance of the ground, to buy a greasy chip butty.

A few points to note before I do.

First, for those of you worried about my health, this detailed analysis was conducted over a number of months to ensure that (a) I didn’t have a heart attack and (b) to spread the cost of Gaviscon purchases. Second, I’ve omitted Man Fryday on the grounds that I’d guess nearly every United fan is aware of it already and if you weren’t, well… now you are!

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Mother Hubbard’s

Following the closure of A Salt ’N’ Battered in 2022, Mother Hubbard’s is now the only chippy within reasonable walking distance on this side of the Lane. It caused a stir upon opening in September 2022 when it gave away portions of fish and chips for just 45p each. This discount price did not go unnoticed, with queues forming along London Road to take up the offer. I decided to go along to see what all the fuss was about.

I was sadly left disappointed, despite an effort being made by the proprietors with the interior (lots of old photographs of Sheffield) and plenty of comfortable seating available.

After paying my dues at the counter, my order of a chippy butty (one size only) and a can of Dandelion & Burdock were brought to my table and I quickly realised that this would not be a venue to visit for anyone exercising portion control.

The chip butty was huge. Whilst being economical, the benefits quickly evaporated as the overcooked chips were served on a dry, stale bread cake. Not wanting to disappoint my fellow money-conscious Yorkshiremen, I ate as much as possible before bowing out about 2/3 of the way through. I waddled off down London Road to the pub, disappointed but most definitely full.

• Price — £3.45

• Pinches of snuff out of 5 — Two Pinches

• Address: 169-171 London Road, S2 4LH

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Brenda’s

Greasy is the operative word at Brenda’s. A visit here will leave your clothes lingering with a chip-fat smell for years to come. I take this as a positive, in that Brenda’s offers perhaps the truest form of a greasy chip butty, of the whole bunch.

Situated just off the Moor, it forms the start of what could be a ‘Chippy Crawl’ to Bramall Lane (along with The Market Chippy and Moor Fisheries). Brenda’s is a dying, old-school breed of chippy that somehow still defies the identikit commercialisation of the city centre. I love places like this — totally unique, down-to-earth and more importantly, decent cheap food.

On the occasion that I visited, the bread cake was a bit stale and could have done with a bit more butter on it, but from the experience of previous visits, I think this was something of an anomaly. Chips were plentiful, and similar to some of my visits elsewhere, I couldn’t finish them all.

Overall, a solid option and a great spot for people-watching if you opt to eat in the cramped seating area.

• Price — £3.00

• Pinches of snuff out of 5 —Three Pinches

• Address — 2 Earl Way, S1 4QA

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The Market Chippy

Situated in yes, you’ve guessed it, the market, this is another no-nonsense option. Simply visit the counter, take your place at a table alongside one of the many pensioners, and sink your teeth into this soft, pillowy chip butty.

Somewhat unusually for a chip butty, you can buy a small or a large portion. I opted for the small, which was more than enough on this particular occasion.

• Price — £2.25 (small)

• Pinches of snuff out of 5 — Three and a half Pinches

• Address — Moor Market, 77 The Moor, S1 4PF

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Moor Fisheries

I find it endearing that Moor Fisheries has “52 Seater Restaurant’ emblazoned across its window display. Eating a chip butty stood up isn’t always as easy as you’d think and it’s comforting to know that there’s a fair chance that you’ll be able to choose from a decent number of spots.

Moor Fisheries is all about sitting inside and people-watching. The decor probably hasn’t changed since it opened and I love that. Cups and saucers sit ready in anticipation on the Formica faux-wood tables, amongst a backdrop of wood panels, old ornate tiles and wood chip fading white walls; all part of the nostalgic experience of stepping back in time.

I found my visit comforting; it reminded me of being a child and accompanying my mum shopping in Rotherham, where I’d often be treated to a chip butty and dandelion & burdock in one of the seemingly many greasy spoon cafes that were in the town centre during the 90s.

I sat in Moor Fisheries and watched people come and go; a couple of old women were sat in near silence, whilst they ate their ‘OAP special’. A man sat alone, looking longingly into the distance as he sipped on his cup of tea. A (I assume), father and son chatted about the United game, later in the afternoon.

People-watching and nostalgic flashbacks aside, the chip butty itself was of a fair size for my appetite and as I would expect, had a decent excess of chips, out of the bread cake. Sadly, the bread itself was maybe a day or so old, so didn’t provide the carb hit I was hoping for, but the chips were really good and had a nice crispy exterior to them.

• Price — £2.60

• Pinches of snuff out of 5 — Three and a half Pinches

• Address — 30 Cumberland Street, S1 4PT

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The Rutland Arms

My final chip butty review comes from what is arguably the best pub in Sheffield, The Rutland Arms. Not only does this boozer have an outstanding range of rotating beers, an excellent jukebox and an effigy of Nigel Farage being a literal knobhead, but it is also home to excellent food.

The infamous ‘Rutty Butty’ is one such example of the fine pub grub on offer. Yes, a regular chip butty is nice, but what about if you added melted cheese? Good, right?

“Yes, but I like ketchup on my chip butty too”…

Ok, well the ‘Rutty’ goes a step further with a tomato sauce that wouldn’t be out of place in a Roman trattoria amidst a heap of bucatini and guanciale. 

“Why mess about with classic?”…

Fair point, but ‘normal’ chip butties are also available.

My research (yes, it has been arduous), has concluded that… wait for it…. chip butties often aren’t that good. I think it’s a textural thing. The softer ‘chippy’ style chips against a soft (if you’re lucky and it’s not stale) bread cake can be a chore to eat; as evidenced by my inability to finish many of the aforementioned butties.

But, this was not the case at The Rutland. The chips reminded me of the ones my grandad used to make — made in the chip pan, golden and crispy on the outside, soft in the middle and tasting of actual potato. The bread roll (not a bread cake in this instance) was almost ciabatta-like, which again, from a textural perspective is better; crisp outside, soft interior. This alone would have been perfect. But, the addition of the sharp tangy cheddar and the sweet acidity of the tomato sauce just made it all very ‘zen’.

Being able to have a very good beer to accompany the butty, perfectly rounded off the experience, as West Coast hip-hop blasted out from the jukebox to a near-empty pub.

A perfect chip butty, but not as you necessarily know it.

Viva la Rutland!

• Price — Rutty £5, Chip Butty £3.50

• Pinches of snuff out of 5 — Five Pinches

• Address - 86 Brown Street, S1 2BS

In conclusion then… it is a pub, not a chippy, which has the best quality chip butty from those I visited. It wasn’t greasy, but it was certainly very tasty and well worth the money. Greasy chip butties are available elsewhere, with an added bonus of a good bit of people-watching and nostalgia, but it may come at a cost of quality. Which, when thinking about our club’s famous anthem, could be quite a good a good analogy for watching the Blades, at times.

A gallon of magnet, anyone?