“Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.”
Who said that? The philosopher Thomas Hobbes.
About what? Life without a governing authority. But I also think it captures what many thought of Kalvin Phillips’ first loan spell last season.
You’ve rather flogged this Kalvin and Hobbes thing, haven’t you? Probably. But I’m a fan.
Of what? Calvin and Hobbes. Philosophy. The philosophy of Calvin and Hobbes. Kalvin Phillips. Sheffield United. Fontaine’s new album…
Stop it.
Do people think differently of Phillips’ spell this time? We’ve accepted the theory of Phillips being really good. We’re beginning to see the reality.
How much has he actually played? Three starts, eight appearances and 440 minutes. Which sounds pretty uninspiring given we’re almost 25% through the season. But since the 2024/25 season, Phillips has completed a full 90 minutes in the league just seven times. And guess what? Around 30% of those — better expressed as the number 2 — have come in the last two months with Sheffield United.
Are you trying to hide a moan about Chris Wilder signing crocked players here? No. Seriously. I’m not. Anyone would have concerns about his playing time. But Phillips wouldn’t be playing for Sheffield United at this level if those concerns didn’t exist. And the deal seems to be appearance-based, which offers some reassurance that even if he never kicked a ball for Blades in anger again, we wouldn’t be, crudely, “spunking muneh”, as Wilder once put it.
Is Phillips adding much? Three goal contributions in 440 minutes is good going. But I’m more interested in what he’s doing for the spine of the team. He’s a solid vertebra. According to Opta, he’s tracking as one of the league’s best players for ground duels won and tackles. If he gets consistent game time, I think we’ll see United create more, and better, chances both in open play and from his set-piece delivery.
More assists, then? I fancy a few more of the “Oli Norwood” variety: cut back and whipped in among the bodies.
You sound almost excited. Tempered excitement. I’m worried about the Hobbes bit.
Go on… Well, we’ve seen how poor United can be this season. Phillips brings the sort of quality that could change that. Which makes the risk feel high: if his contribution ends up being “solitary and short”, United lose one of the best players in our squad just as we’ve begun to rely on him.
Should he start today against Derby? Yes.
Will he? Yes. Please. Surely?
Will he finish the game against Derby? It would be superb if he did. That would give him back-to-back completed league 90s for the first time since 22 May 2022. More than four years ago, or 1,616 days.