Away Day Wiz Diaries #1 (York City)
A new feature for the 24/25 season, Alan Pickard writes the Away Day Wiz Diaries.
Alan Pickard
York City.
First trip to the new ground. I was surprised to see one empty stand, and the lack of extra demand from Blades for a ground tick to be quite frank
As for the stadium. Meh. Crap. I'm actually a fan of new grounds when they're done right. For example Spurs, the Stadium of Light and Wembley of course (you said “new” Alan). Hmmm, maybe I mean I'm a fan of upgraded grounds rather than new ones. Anyway, I digress.
York city. Awful. Don't bother. Sold out of ale 15 minutes after kick-off, meaning half-time pint became a half-time Rose wine/paint stripper. Of course, you don't have to drink alcohol when watching football. No, you do actually. This is Sheffield United. Alcohol is a frigging prerequisite.
The journey. Interesting— 09:32 train. Now, you'd think, that the incompetent idiots that run these train companies would have a gander at the ongoings of the day wouldn't you? But no. So, approximately 1,500 racegoers — Blades and shoppers — all heading to York had to squeeze into a four-carriage train. Lol. Couldn't get on. Every cloud and all that though, we travelled FREE thanks to delay repay.
So it was onto the 10:20 bound for Edinburgh, calling at Leeds Leeds Leeds and Yaaark. Once again, a full-to-capacity Platform 5 was greeted by a four-carriage train. Terrific. Anyway, we managed to squeeze in. Bit cramped, bit sweaty, but on our way to see the Wiz (it's a state of mind, applications now open).
The game. Ranty Rant time. If you want entertainment. A pre-season fixture isn't where you're going to get it. So moaning about a misplaced pass, about why we are playing that shape, who's that, why’s he playin’ there, I thought we were selling him — then I'd suggest you're wasting your money. Friendlies are crap. They're boring. They're a runabout. You go, quite simply, to have a day out with your pals, and to put a few quid in the coffers of the hosting team. *Ends Rant.*
The actual game. As above. Boring. They go one up then subsequently sing "Championship, you're having a laugh". Fair. Well see about that on Monday lads (two great signings in my humble opinion).
We looked shaky at the back before managing a lump into the box, big head-on target from the man from Bosnia, saved, followed up, and rifled into the roof of the net, by Ryan ONE (du du du du du) one (du du du du du) OOONNNNNEEEEE (the One Show oreyt, geddit? I give up). Nowt much else. Rose wine time.
Second half. Boring. So much so that, as the enigmatic William Osula picked the ball up on the left wing in the 75th minute, I turned to my mate Joe and said "if he scores here I'm fucking off" — inside one man, past another, wallop top bins thanks for coming.
So there we have it. About as comprehensive as my school report that once read "Alan applies as much effort as HE thinks is acceptable". Unlike that school report, I imagine my mum and dad might even read this!
Roll on Chesterfield.
Thats really funny Alan, sounds about right, UTB
Thanks, Alan - good write-up.
I'm always left baffled as to how railway schedulers and hospitality organisers offering such shambolic scenes still keep their jobs . . . and they never seem to learn; if you were to go on the same trip next year, no doubt it would be exactly the same.
Anyway, I quite enjoyed the match watching from my armchair (!). It seemed relaxed, yet competitive and it was nice to see some new faces. As you say, a rather typical pre-season starter.
Very much looking forward to your future reports.
Sue.